Question: Is codependency a form of love?

Codependency is not true love. It is a love addiction that can destroy your relationship and destroy you as a person. By becoming aware of the pitfalls of codependency, youve already taken the first step towards a healthy relationship with your partner.

Is codependency ever a good thing?

Codependency isnt always a bad thing and can actually strengthen a relationship. In fact, Kolawole says vulnerability is good for a relationship and hiding your vulnerable or codependent side could cause problems. ... If couples dont have conversations about their feelings, over time their relationship will deteriorate.

Ed and his wife, Sheri, have two married daughters and eight grandchildren.

Codependency: Definition, Symptoms, Traits, Causes, Treatment

This book is enlightening, convicting, and encouraging. He's talking about a tendency Is codependency a form of love? hold other people in awe, to be controlled and mastered by them, to depend on them for what God alone can give. About the Author Edward T. At Westminster, he is professor of practical theology. He is author of Blame It on the Brain and When People Are Big and God Is Small and has contributed to several other books and journals, including the Journal of Psychology and Christianity.

He earned a PhD in counseling neuropsychology from the University of Utah and has Is codependency a form of love? Master of Divinity degree from Biblical Theological Seminary. Ed has been counseling for over thirty years and has written extensively on the topics of depression, fear, and addictions.

His biblical counseling books include Shame Interrupted; When People Are Big and God Is Small; Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave; Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness; Crossroads: A Step-by-Step Guide Away from Addiction; Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest; When I Am Afraid: A Step-by-Step Guide Away from Fear and Anxiety; Side by Side: Walking with Others in Wisdom and Love; and A Small Book about a Big Problem: Meditations on Anger, Patience, and Peace.

In fact I stayed up until 2 am in order to finish the book. The author has his Ph. Divinity from Biblical Theological Seminary. This book was exactly what I needed to read right now during this crazy time of 2020-2021. He uses Biblical examples of Abraham, Moses, David, Peter, Paul. This is an important topic. Things that Is codependency a form of love? good: - Welch writes about the true nature of God vs.

We tend to think of God as if he's man-like probably because Jesus became a man while he is completely other than holy. Knowing who God truly is will help us to make other people's opinions of much less account. Much of the time what we do is self-serving, even if it's cloaked in serving others.

We like to get our significance from other people when it should come from God only. Some things that are concerning: -Welch argues that we have no psychological needs. Our needs are either spiritual or physical. I wasn't clear whether or not he was arguing that all emotional needs are spiritual or if he would lump them in with psychological needs and say they don't exist. He says we have desires, for instance, to be listened to by a spouse, but that's not a need.

Well, it's a need if you want a good relationship! There is very little practical advice anywhere in the book. We are creatures who rely on other people every day. This, however, is different from putting our faith and trust in them. We need to put our faith and trust in others; that's part of relationship. We trust only God for salvation, but we must trust others to live in healthy families and community.

It sounds like he's saying that giving babies affection is simply to keep them alive. Her job was just to give up the need for her husband to listen to her - just forget about it. She didn't need to explore why she was feeling the way she was. If we have a longing to be heard and feel that we aren't being heard, it could be because a parent never listened to us. What we experience in childhood hard-wires visceral emotional reactions into our brains.

Once these are understood and healing of the wound takes place, then maybe we can let go of that desire to be heard. This book was written in 1997, before modern neuroscience discovered the importance of brain development in small children and trauma. Maybe Welch needs to update the book? Welch related a story where he was feeling bad after a doing a class where he felt he did a poor job in teaching. She rebuked him and told him that his students needed him.

Is codependency a form of love? wrote that he was glad she wasn't sympathetic towards him and that he was just being selfish. A good old-fashioned rebuke is very valuable at times, and I've benefited from a few myself. However, rebukes are best done in humility and followed by love and empathy. It's the Lord's kindness that leads us to repentance.


There was little sense of love anywhere in the book. Where do emotions, thoughts, ideas, etc. If we have no soul, where is emotional healing taking place? Maybe he's saying we don't need emotional healing? He doesn't make that clear. Overall, I think this book does more harm than good. Welch's view seems to be similar. If you buy this book, be aware that it's one of those where you have to eat the meat and spit out the bones, but I don't recommend it.

Is codependency a form of love?

Curt Thompson has some great books Is codependency a form of love? shame from a Christian perspective that are far superior. I don't have enough time to write the quality of review that this book deserves. No book can ever replace Scripture, and reading it alone is sufficient. Is codependency a form of love?

God has gifted certain men to put the understanding He has given them of Scripture on paper and allowed it to bless us with the insight He has given them.

This is one of those books. Most people have a very basic understanding of the fear of man. We experience one form of it often when presented an opportunity to proclaim the Gospel. Even those that boldly stand on the corners and preach to the passing crowds will often tell you about the butterflies they get prior to starting their proclamation. However, this book will open your eyes to a number of other ways you may fear man.

I did not understand that much of my life was controlled by that fear. I am grateful for the people that kept on pressing me to read this.

It is hard for me to read most books cover to cover. It's easy to read three or four chapters, and then skip to the end to see what the final diagnosis or recommendation is. This is not a book you should or will want to do Is codependency a form of love? with. I am starting through it for the third time soon because it is so fantastic.

Everything he teaches is put on the bottom shelf and you don't have to be a scholar to understand it, but there is so much packed into this that you either need to go super-slow and meditate on both the Scripture he references and the point he's making, or go through it once thoughtfully and come back to study the points that pertain more to your situation. Either way, this is a very worthwhile study. I can't recommend it enough. We live in a world and culture in which people place far too much emphasis on what others think.

He illumines us to the reality that we have made people big and God small. Rather, he means learning to view God with the holy reverence and awe that the Sovereign of the universe deserves. Understanding that God is the Almighty demands respect and obedience. People are to delight in obeying the Lord, which results in the fullness of joy at His right hand and frees us from being enslaved to the opinions and standards the ever-changing culture.

Is codependency a form of love?

Since I believe almost ever person today deals with the fear of man in one way or another, I highly recommend this book to all people seeking to live a life to the glory of God alone.

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